Loaded: A Dishwashing Story

My remarkable wife Ra El 
My wife has so many remarkable talents that a blog post about her dishwashing loading skills seems so frivolous. I could write about her magnificent mastery with the written word, her angelic artistic ability with a paintbrush or her deeply spiritual ability to connect with the compassionate guides that surround her. Yet, I am amazed at how she has the divining rod-like ability to figure out how to find order and structure out of the chaos of cleanup.  She is a dishwasher-loading diva and I get a front row seat to her wizardry every day!
Should I load the dishwasher or get loaded? 
When I load the dishwasher, with good intentions, I try and fit each and every dish, cup and spoon in its place. Then I turn around and find that I missed 4 pasta-smudged plates, 3 coffee browned mugs and an odd shaped ceramic bowl. My next move would be to use a technique which I call “stuff everything in, shut the door quickly and hope no one notices”.  It never works as I can hear the mocking laugh of our dishwasher (Sam AKA Samsung) that intuitively knows it has been improperly loaded. I hate to be taunted by a dishwasher who mocks me in an endless rinse cycle that is so draining.

The S is for Samsung
Dishwasher Diva
Without warning I hear a voice, like in the movies. Up in the air, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it's Super Dishwasher Loading Woman. Her superhero outfit would involve very hip socks and some kind of purple, pink and orange stretchy thing with lots of stars and polka dots. She would have cool earrings that match too. 

Ra El channels one of her many superpowers that allows her to organize the dishwasher with the mere wave of her hand. Like the magic of Merlin, every cup and saucer is suddenly in its proper place waiting for its bath. She transforms my dishwasher disco into an elegant arrangement like a monk arranging a mandala. I am not being hyperbolic. It is really that organized!

What a dish!
Perhaps there is a little more than magic involved but to me Ra El is like the Bobby Fisher of the dishwashing universe moving pieces around like a chess master. Like rook to queen 8, she moves bowl to lower rack 7. Check mate.

She has always been able to see in multiple dimensions and to find order by stepping back and gaining a bigger perspective.  You can almost hear the plates sigh in relief that Ra El is going to finish my incomplete job and put things in their proper place. As she tucks in the duck plate with the cat’s bowl, we have dishwasher harmony. It is a Zen-like state that involves Joy (the dishwashing liquid) and hands-on approach to find the right home for everything that needs cleansing. I feel a cascade (the soap powder) of tranquility as I know that everything will be alright and squeaky clean.

This ability to bring order to the universe also applies to drawers and closets. I know there is a larger more spiritual message to her magic.  It is like a sixth sense for her as she goes through a Tai Chi-like motion finding the right feng shui for our dirty dishes. The plates stand upright like little soldiers marching into a cleansing. Each spoon shows its dirty face and smiles as it knows it will be bathed and revitalized.

                                                                 I know I may  be going overboard in my praise. I trust that we all have our daily chores that allow us to keep us sane. Vacuuming and cooking are two that work for me. For Ra El, if you ask her to wrap a present, you’ll see a work of art that would make Michelangelo weep. Request that she hand letter a note and you will see the most exquisite calligraphy that echoes the artistry of the great Islamic artisans from the 13th century. Sometimes you get lucky and the stars line up - along with the dishes. 

I guess it is my turn to unload.

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